


Broken and Alone

by nerdguy3000



Series: Leo and Alba [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Brain Damage, Episode: s02e03 Making Friends and Influencing People, Gen, Hydra Grant Ward, Leo Fitz-centric, Seizures, service dog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:01:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25335820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdguy3000/pseuds/nerdguy3000
Summary: Set during 2x03 - Fitz goes to find out who is living in the basement and ends up ignoring an alert from Alba
Series: Leo and Alba [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834102
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	Broken and Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t have any first hand experience of seizures or Service dogs. I’ve don’t some research but this isn’t 100% accurate. If you think I need to fix anything let me know

This was the last straw for Fitz, they had kept him on the sidelines for long enough. Hiding things from him, speaking in code around him, ‘the asset’, Coulson mysterious ‘source’. He should be out with his team helping, but he was stuck here because they thought he was useless down. He walked with purpose down the corridors, Alba walking happily beside him, no wearing a leash. He had to know what was in Vault D, he wouldn’t be kept in the dark anymore.

“Please Fitz this is ridiculous. What are you hoping to achieve?” His subconscious versions of Jemma asked. He didn’t want to have this argument, he just wanted to know.

“The asset Skye’s been talking, to it’s him.” He strode on, nothing was going to stop him. He felt Alba nudge his hand, she could tell he was agitated, his hand gently stroked her head as he kept walking.

“Mack was right. You’re sounding paranoid,” Simmons tried to reason with him but he knew he wasn’t. His mind wasn’t what it used to be but he knew he was right about this. “Stop assuming the worst.”

“They’re keeping things from me and I just want to know the truth.” He was tired of the secrets, he had as much right as anyone to know.

Simmons stood in front of him in a last attempt to stop him, “Fitz you need to be honest with yourself. You are barely holding it together. There is a reason they’re keeping things from you. I don’t think you should go in there.”

“You are not here.” For a moment he felt alone, then he felt the weight of Alba leaning against him, his hand on her head. He felt safe. Then he looked at the door and anxiety bubbles in him, what if he was right. He was about to come face to face with the man who had tried to kill him. That didn’t matter right now, he had to know.

As the approached the door he realised it didn’t have a rope on it, until most of the doors in the Playground, even the Directors Office was accessible. They were again trying to exclude him, keep him in the dark. Not anymore. He walked forward opening the door with his hands as they shook from fear and anticipation. He walked down the steps, Alba following behind him. The prison had a cream colour screen over it. He had seen designs for this, it blocked the view both way but he knew how to make it opaque. He stepped towards it, taking a steadying breath he hit the button.

He was greeted with the face of the man who had tried to kill him. Grant Ward looked at him, shocked. This was too much, unconsciously he made the signal for block and Alba moved in front of him, putting a little pressure on Fitz's legs to try and calm him. Fear moved him backwards, slowly Alba following. Somehow Alba was making him feel safe than the laser barrier.

“I imagine you’ve got a lot to say to me.” Fitz could feel his hands start shaking harder as his breathing sped up. This was all too much, the only thing keeping him sane was Alba pressed against his legs. He bent down pressing his hands in Alba’s fur as his breathing sped up. There were things he wanted to say but he couldn’t even get a breath in. Grant Ward alive and well in the basement of the Base. Alba started nudging and licking his hands to help him calm down, keeping him grounded. 

“Despite all of this.” Fitz moved to sit in the chair that was set up, he couldn’t even focus on what Ward was saying. As soon as he was down Alba put her front paws on his legs, providing some deep pressure therapy as he tried to control his breathing. “It’s really good to see you.”

He could feel the tears filling his eyes and swiped at them, he didn’t want to show weakness, not in front of this monster. He buried his hands in Alba’s fur, resting his head on hers as he took deep breaths. 

“Fitz? Fitz?”

“Stop! Stop talking! Stop.” Hearing his voice, the voice of a man he once thought was a friend destroyed him. The man who had taken so much for him. He couldn’t bear the sound. 

As Fitz breathing began to get under control Ward tried again, “who’s that.”

“This? Th- this is Alba. She- she- looks after me. Because of how- how you hurt me.” His hands were still buried in her fur but he looked at Ward accusingly.

“I didn’t want to hurt you, I tried to avoid it.”

“You tried to kill us.” His shaking hands burrowed further into Alba’s fur, she kept sitting on his knees keeping him grounded.

“No. I wanted to save you.” Fitz couldn’t believe the words coming out of awards mouth. Save them. He dropped them to the bottom of the ocean. “Garrett ordered me to kill you and Simmons. He expected me to put a bullet in your head. But I couldn’t.”

It felt like a bullet had been put in Fitz’s head. It might have even been kinder.

“I gave you a fight chance to find a way out like you always do. Like you did.”

“Save me?” Was that really what Ward thought he had done for Fitz, did he not see the service dog almost entirely on his lap, she was in her harness that said seizure detection dog and he genuinely thought he had saved Fitz.

“Do you- do you- do you know what ummm-“ he took a breath, unable to finish his sentence. It has all too much and the only reason he wasn’t curled up in a ball barely able to breath was Alba’s weight on his knees, keeping him grounded. He looked back at the tablet. He knew he shouldn’t but he just couldn’t stop himself. He pushed Alba off his knees and stood up, Alba went back to blocking and resting some weight against his legs.

“I... I have trouble with words, so... umm it’s probably best that I show you.” This was a stupid idea but after all that Ward had put him through, he couldn’t help himself.

“Show me what?”

“Hypoxia,” Fitz said almost triumphantly, “found that one. That’s what you did to me”

Then he pushed the button as Ward had done. Only one button. He heard the air vents cut off and could see it becoming harder for Ward to breathe.

“Fitz?” He looked on, knowing that the look in Wards eyes had to be similar to the one he had given Ward before he had dropped him and Simmons in the ocean. “What are you doing?”

“I’m showing you what it’s like when your deprived...” he couldn’t find the word, “... of oxygen. The brain cells they react first, they die. Three minutes, damage is permanent.”

He knew he should stop now, he’d scared Ward. That’s all he wanted but the next question made him even angrier, “where is Skye?”

“Gone. They’re all gone after Donnie. And I should be there but I can’t. I have to be with Alba at all times. I can’t be without her! Because of you! Because of what you did to me, I’m damaged!”

“Donnie... Donnie... Donnie Gill. That’s why Skye was asking?” 

“No, I’m not... uhh I- umm- I don’t answer umm...”

“Fitz, listen to me... listen. They don’t know what they’re walking into!”

That spurred Fitz into action. Immediately he fixed the oxygen level in Wards cell. The team could be in danger and he could help. “What.. umm what do you mean?”

“Donnie, he’s been brainwashed by Hydra, they’re going to try and reactive his programming. He was the one that took the sandbox, Hyrda brainwashed him so he could take it for them.”

Fitz took off, not bothering to talk to Ward anymore. He ran as fast as he could, he heard Alba bounding along behind him. As soon as he got to the door he started shouting at Mack who couldn’t hear him over the game. He was going to need quiet and had no time so he ran to the tv, sliding to a stop and pulled the power cable out the tv.

“Hey! What the hell man? I just took out the Boomers.”

“The bus! The bus! We need to talk to the bus!” He felt Alba come up next to him but he ignored her. He needed to be free of distractions is he was going to explain it.

They moved to the computer as Mack attempted to link up with the bus. 

“He’s been brainwashed by Hydra Mack. They’re gonna try... and do it again.”

“How do you know that Turbo?” The confusion was etched on Mack’s face.

“Ward.”

At that moment they linked up with the bus.

“What’s happening?” Coulson asked.

Mack looked at Fitz and gestured for Fitz to explain.

“Donnie didn’t escape the sandbox, he took the sandbox for Hydra.”

“Hydra recruited Gill?” Coulson asked

“The brain... brain..” Fitz looked to Mack for help.

As Mack explained to Coulson Fitz looked down at Alba then realised what she had been trying to do. For the past few minutes she had been trying to alert him but he had been busy trying to explain.

“Oh no.” Was all Fitz got out before it started.

Mack had just finished telling Coulson the situation when he looked over at the sound of Fitz’s voice, only too see him go down. Lunging to grab him Mack tried to make sure Fitz didn’t hit his head. As Alba moved into position, Mack grabbed the stopwatch from her vest.

“How do you know this?”

Mack had almost forgotten Coulson was listening.

“Fitz spoke to Ward,” Mack said, stress filling his words. He was focused on making sure Fitz didn’t hurt himself.

“Everything okay Mack?” Trip asked. Hearing the fear and stress in the other man's voice.

“No! Fitz ignored Alba and starting having a seizure standing up. I think I managed to stop him from hurting himself but I won’t know until he’s done.” Mack relayed, glancing at the stopwatch. He was concerned that if Fitz had hit his head that he would be in more danger.

“Look after him, we’re going to have a talk when I get home.”

“Yes sir.” 

Then the line went quiet and Mack focused all his attention on the young man who was convulsing in his arms. He should have noticed that Alba was alerting but his mind was reeling with what Fitz had done. And how he hadn’t been there to stop or support him. As they approached the three-minute mark, Mack started to get restless, this was the longest seizure he had ever been present for. He knew that if it hit the three and a half minute mark he would need to call for medical. But three minutes and six seconds in the convulsions stopped. 

Mack sat back after lowering Fitz onto his back. It had been a bad one and Mack knew the younger man would be tired.

Gently he lifted the younger man into his arms, carrying him as if he weighed nothing. He didn’t need to say anything to Alba who followed at his side. As they approached Fitz bunk the man in question began to stir. Alba opened the door for them and by the time Mack had deposited Fitz on the bed, he was awake again. Mack brought the desk chair over as Fitz pushed himself so he was sitting up. Alba, seeing how stressed Fitz was, climbed on the bed and started deep pressure therapy.

“How are you feeling Turbo?” Mack asked, handing Fitz a water bottle.

“Um- a lit- li- bit shaky. I’m sorry Mack.”

“Hey, it’s okay. But you gotta listen to Alba, she knows what she’s doing okay?”

Fitz nodded.

“Alright Turbo, I think Coulson will be coming to speak to you when he gets back. Just try and relax for a little while.”

Fitz nodded and again and Mack got up to leave. He needed to check on the situation with the team.

* * *

A few hours later there was a knock at the door and Coulson walked it. He sat in the chair Mack had left. Fitz was looking at his tablet, the article about him and Simmons when they first met Donnie was on it. Alba lay across his legs, not moving when Coulson came in. Fitz put aside the tablet and starts running his hands through Alba’s fur.

“We should talk,” Coulson said, Fitz nodded, he knew what he did with Ward was wrong but he didn’t regret it.

“First of all, I want you to know that I see your progress. You’re an important part of this team and I don’t want you to forget that.” This was not where Fitz thought this was going at all.

“But I saw the recording. Your conversation with Ward. You almost killed him.” That was true, it hadn’t been his intention but seeing that man, the man who had ruined his life had been too much for him.

“But I didn’t.” He wasn’t a killer, not like Ward. “I’m not a killer.”

“I can’t look at him, I hate that he’s here. But we barely know anything about Hydra. I need to do whatever it takes to understand the people we’re fighting. Ward is one way I’m trying to do that.” Fitz could understand that reasoning, it didn’t mean he had to like it though.

“You should have told me.” He deserved to know that the man who had caused him so much pain was in the basement of the only place he felt safe at the moment.

“Maybe. I didn’t want to add to what you were already dealing with. Like today, you ignored Alba altering you because of your conversation with Ward.” That much was true.

“The team needed to know.”

“They did, but you are a part of the team and you need to look after yourself.”

Fitz nodded.

“And is... is there anything... anything more?” He asked, he had a feeling he knew something about Jemma, why she left.

“That I’m keeping from you? Yeah. I’m Director. There’s a hell of a lot more. But there is one other thing you should know.” Here it comes. “Simmons is on an assignment. That’s why she hasn’t been in contact. That’s why she left.”

She was away, somewhere most likely dangerous and Fitz didn’t know. After all the years they spent together his stupid brain injury had pushed them apart. He could feel the tears growing in his eyes and kept his hand on Alba, taking shaky, calming breaths.

“Did she ask for this assignment? Did she want to leave?” He felt his voice crack at the end of the question and looked away. He was terrified of the answer Coulson might give.

“What she’s doing is very important.” That most likely meant yes. Fitz just nodded. He was broken, just like he hold Ward. He was broken and Simmons couldn’t fix it so she left. Coulson could see the gears turning in Fitz's head. “I’m going to let you get some rest okay?”

Fitz nodded and the Director quietly slipped out. As soon as the doors closed Fitz felt the tears start to fall. He was alone, Simmons had left and everyone else seemed to avoid him. Then he felt a little nudge at his elbow and looked down to see Alba wagging her tail and leaning against him. Not totally alone then.

**Author's Note:**

> All feedback is greatly appreciated!
> 
> Comment what situations you’d like me to put these two in next


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